June 1st 2009 - Monday

This is my first day on the job and Doctor Dean hands me this blank red marble-designed composition book. Wow, what a way to come in to work. I asked him what I should do with it and he informs me that it would 'behoove' me to write down my thoughts in book and keep it in a safe place. He used that exact word, 'behoove'. That was his word of choice. But when I snickered when he said the word 'behoove', his eyes gave me this death stare that I won't too soon forget. It was like he was saying, 'Young Lady, this is not a laughing matter'. It kinda creeped me out for a really long awkward moment. In that moment I felt like I needed to run home on my lunch break and take a really hot shower. I guess he noticed I was completely, totally freaked out by the look he was giving me and he smiled a tender, grandfatherly smile at me:

"I bet you are ready to see your office by now. You're going to love the view. It is the second best view up here. Well, besides mine of course."

He really did reassure me with the thought of seeing the view from my office. I have never had an actual office before.

I, Kerstin X. [that's how Dr. Dean wants me to write my name in this thing. He told me that anonymity is a must around here

So, anyway, I Kerstin X., occupies an office where I can shut the door and .have a bit of privacy.

Dr. Dean was right, I do love the view. The downtown area is nothing to sneeze at. It looks so beautiful from up here. I can't see skid row at all. And my desk is a dark cherry wood, very professional and very expensive looking. My chair looks like it costs more than my first car did.

Dr. Dean gave me the full tour of the floor today. He even showed me where the janitorial closet was located, whatever that was all about. When he finished showing me around the place he left me alone to read over some past case files. There where files from some previous clients of his. He wanted me to get a feel for what I was to expect when I actually had a chance to meet with real clients of my own.

For some of the diagnosis I had to pull out the DSM-V and do a quick cross reference check to familiarize myself with most of the psych terminology and disorders. Sheesh! There is a lot to learn working in my new career. Wow, I had never said that before. Career! It sounds so funny. I am just out of college and now I am a career woman.

I am not sure why Dr. Dean wants me to write in this diary or journal or venting book - I don't know what to call it. I kinda think he wants to read it when I'm not looking. Maybe he has one of those disorders that I skimmed over in the DSM-V? Or maybe, even worse, he wants me to positively relay my feelings without relinquishing my therapist/client relationships. I guess that's why they pay him the big bucks, right?

Kerstin X.